Reno Reviews: Fuego

                Fuego is a bar that used to be a bastion of the community. Now it’s more of a plight, and a terrible thing to look at. This pub used to be owned by some pretty cool people, but they left due to familial circumstances, and left it in the hands of someone who is more interested in making money than they are serving the community. This review is going to be somewhat scathing, so please hang in there with me on this, because this is a place that deserves some real tender loving care for the community it’s in, and not the rampant commercialism and promoting that the owner has been outsourcing to Seattle and other areas.

Location: Fuego is located at 2611 Colby Ave #2921. This place has been there for a while and has quite a deep history. It was once known as the Doghouse, and then it became The Lucky Dog. It remained The Lucky Dog for a few years before the owner closed its door back in 2016. It would soon become Fuego, led by the new owners, Lisa and Rico Sanchez.

This place was always a dive bar due partly to its location. It’s smack dab in the middle of Colby Ave, between 26^th and Everett Ave. This is an area that all people could have fun because of its accessibility to the public. It’s right there on the main street of downtown Everett. A place where all could access, be it by foot, or bike (there are bike racks right by the bar) or by those driving in who wanted a quick brew before they headed back into the suburbs, where their homes were. The location is great, especially if you showed up after business hours, since there are other businesses in the area and the parking was much better at those time. But Fuego has a sort of dark personality to it, then and now.

Libations: The drinks at Fuego have always been lackluster. It’s a dive bar after all. But in recent times they’ve been expecting more money for less. A 22-Ounce beer of bud light will cost you about $7, which is more than going to Toggle’s for 22-ouncer that has more alcohol content. Fuego’s has pretty much what every other bar has, and some other stuff too, if you’re wiling to pay the price. From wine, to champagne, to some micro-brews, and the usual cheap stuff.

Food: I can’t even fill out a full subject on there food selection. Their food selection consists of fried packaged goods they bought at “Cash & Carry”. It’s pretty much the fried stuff you give to your children during the summertime when they are restless, and you don’t have time to make them a real meal. This has been the fact ever since they were the Doghouse.

Atmosphere: Weird. That’s all I can I say. At least when it was the Doghouse there were people that you could have a conversation with during the day. Same goes for when they were the Lucky Dog and the first iteration of Fuego. Now there is nothing there, but a dark room with some curtains and music and a staff that seem sketchy at best.

This place used to have a great atmosphere which I will talk about later, but for now, the place might as well be a grey, open warehouse where they service beer, without any charm. There is also a dance floor, which takes up most, if not all the space of the bar. I thin ka dance club in Everett would be great, if you have the space for it. Fuego’s doesn’t have the space to be a dance club though.

Service: The girl who owns the place now has no idea how to run a bar. She constantly runs around looking for the right bottle, or the right glass, or the right tap, or she’ll tell you she can’t serve what your asking for because she doesn’t know how.

Other than that, the service is still lack luster. I waited 10 minutes for the bartender to fill my glass, and the place was empty. She was running around, handling administration issues, and trying to fix the other bartenders’ issues. She is clearly more inept at bartending than she is at handling the administrative issues.

Let’s not get started on the “sometimes” bouncer Eddie. This guy is a moron who just does what he wants and kicks out people he doesn’t like. He has exhibited racist qualities, as well as anti-gay and anti-trans qualities as well. He is someone that no bar should ever consider if they see themselves as a safe place for everyone to drink and have fun.

Clientele: If you’re looking for the dregs of society during the day, then come here. If you’re looking for more respectable people than go to the Irishmen down the street. The people who used patronize the place are nonexistence, and if they are there, they are not the people you want to know. Wait until later in the evening and the crowd gets even worse.

The owner sees herself as a promoter, and she promotes the bar as a dance lounge to a certain type of clientele that subsists of folks from Seattle and Tacoma. They are not locals and they tend to cause more problems than they are worth. It’s more like a gang reunion than a bar you’d find in north Everett that patronizes its locals. In short, none of the locals go there anymore during the day.

The first night that Fuego opened under the new ownership was fraught with fights, and the local police had to come in and mediate. I say mediate because there were so many troublemakers that the police were outnumbered and had no choice but be mediators. In short, they were outnumbered by out of town folks who were causing trouble.

Price: Outrageous. A 22-ounce of Bud light was about $7. That should have been more like 5 dollars. Shots of whatever your pleasure were about $10-14. The food, which as I said above, is lackluster. Fried children’s food, or even worse. Steer clear of this mess, because all you are doing is paying $10 for a plate of microwaved or deep-fried food that you could have paid $1 for back at home.

Overall: Back when it was the Lucky Dog the establishment was a bastion for dart players, which would always find themselves in the semi or final rounds for semi-professional dart players of this region. They had a pretty good reputation, for a dive bar.

The bartenders were no-nonsense people, mostly ex-military, or folks who were pervious bartenders from other bars around Everett. But there was a shift in the guard after Rico and Lisa left. A new person came forth…one that saw herself as a promoter, and someone that would bring business in from other regions. And while she has fulfilled that business promise, she changed the bar into something that just doesn’t fit with the neighborhood. It was always a place that the cops would watch, but now it’s now become a place where the police actively watch over.

The new owners thought they were gentrifying the neighborhood, but they made it even worse than it was perceived before.

In summary, I would avoid this place at all costs. Let’s bring back the old Colby Ave we knew, the one that we could all enjoy, no matter who you were.

Reno Reviews: Toggle's Bottleshop

In the heart of downtown Everett there are plenty of little wonderful spots to enjoy, all locally owned and operated. The greatest part of it all is that its all pretty much within walking distance for those who live in the North Everett area. From kitschy vintage secondhand stores, to pubs, and hole in the wall restaurants with wonderful atmospheres, downtown Everett is becoming a sort of mini-Seattle, and with the growth that’s expected in the city within the next five years it’s certain to become just that and even more.

In these blogs I’m going to take some time away from the maddening political realm and focus on some of the wonder and beauty of this ever-growing city and review it’s top, middle and awful establishments. I’ll be reviewing based on several criteria; however, I won’t be giving a rating or a grade, you’ll just have to read what I have to say, you lazy bastards. The criteria will be as follows: Location, Libations, Food, Atmosphere, Service, Clientele and Price.

I’d like to introduce you all to Toggle’s Bottle Shop.

Location: Toggle’s is located at 1420 Hewitt Ave, off Hoyt Ave in downtown Everett, and unfortunately, it’s in that area that’s been subjected to the street renovations. However, those renovations haven’t seemed to hinder their ability to draw in a crowd and make money. I’d chalk that up to the fact that you can still park on parts of the street, plus there is a parking garage just catty-corner from the pub which doesn’t charge you for parking after a certain time of day. The pub is also located right next to several other downtown Everett favorites such as Sol Food, The New Mexicans, and Abbott’s. There is also a mini-mart right next store which could cater to the casual cigarette smoker who found themselves lacking in their cancer-stick department. Overall, it’s a great location, however once the street renovations are completed it should be even better to access.

Libations: Toggle’s offers some great, locally brewed beers, many of which you can’t find anywhere else. They pretty much have whatever you fancy, except Bud or Coors or any of those other cheap, shitty beers. They have plenty of micro-brews to chose from, and their menu seems to change every now and then with some new additions coming across their menu, which is great. I’m not a micro-brew aficionado, but I do like to try new beers, and if trying new beers is your thing than you should go to the bar and check out the menu.

Toggle’s does something else though, and I’ve never seen this before in my time of pub crawling. You have the bar, like every other pub in in the world, but you also have a back room that is filled with mini-mart like refrigerators that are filled with all kinds of beer bottles. You can find anything from ciders to lagers to ales and other specialty bottled brews that you can’t find at your typical corner store or mini-mart.

Food: Now, this is where Toggle’s takes a dive in my appreciation. Toggle’s does not have a menu for food. However, they do offer what I like to call “Stay Sober Snacks”, which is cool, but no substitution for food.

There are two dog food-like contains with dials on them which you turn to release treats. The two treats are peanut butter filled pretzels, which I love, and a sort of Chex mix pretzel combination that are free to patrons of the establishment. This is the extent of their food offerings. No kitchen at all, which is understandable considering the great lengths they took to give us every alcoholic beverage they possibly could.

Atmosphere: The atmosphere is atypical from any other pub I’ve been to. There is limited seating, but there are board games provided. There is light music played over the speakers, but nothing I recognized, just stuff that plays in the background so as not to have a completely dead atmosphere. The bar is clean, and smells clean, probably the best looking or smelling pub I’ve ever visited. It’s not a clinical smell by any means, it just smells and feels very natural. It’s kind of a blank slate for those of us who wish to enter a pub and make our own experiences, instead of being guided to whatever theme the bar has. It’s more of a “choose your own adventure” pub, and I have to say, I really like that idea. It’s very well lighted, and the two front windows roll up for the summer months, almost like an auto shop garage.

Service: All I can say on this criterion is that the service is great. The folks that work there are not rude, and they engage in conversation. They’re also knowledgeable when it comes to the micro-brews they serve on tap and can give you their firsthand experiences with them. Overall, they’re courteous, informative and great to talk with.

Clientele: The people that come into Toggle’s are pretty low-key. They all kind of do their own thing, which is typical in a pub, but there is never some crazy outburst or drama from what I’ve seen. It’s a younger, professional crowd that I’ve come to admire, having been the patron of many rowdy, unhinged pub scenes. All I can say is that from what I’ve seen, the clientele behaves themselves and treat the place like their own home.

Price: This is where I have a problem. When you walk up to the bar to get something on tap, the prices seem a bit high, and the glasses seem a bit short. They’re are not pint glasses at all. They fall short of what I would pay $6.50 per glass for at a typical pub. If you go to the back room and grab a bottle and have it served for you there in the pub you pay for the bottle and a serving fee, which is pretty steep if you ask me, especially since all the guy or gal is doing is pouring the beer into a goddamn glass and handing it to you. Plus, you don’t even get the full beer right away. If you buy a 22-ounce beer bottle the staff will pour the beer into a short glass, the same size they serve their taps in, and then they cap the rest of the beer and hold it behind the bar for you, making you return to the bar when you want the rest. I’ve been there a few times where they’ve offered to pour a full 22-ounce beer into two different glasses for me so that I could have the whole beer all at once, but they don’t seem to do this all the time. I figured that this is a method they use to keep the alcoholics at bay, but still, there is some inconvenience here.

Overall: I like this pub. It’s a pretty cool place to meet up with friends and have some pretty obscure brews that you have maybe never heard of. It’s an eclectic establishment when it comes to that, and I like that characteristic in the pubs I go to. You can find stuff here that no other pub serves in the city and that’s what keeps me coming back. On top of that the people that patronize the pub are always cool, and the employees are cool, and the overall atmosphere is great. I especially like the fact that they have board-games and card games available for people to play. It’s not like other pubs that have a theme as I said before. It’s a sort of “choose your own adventure” pub, and I like that.

If you live in Everett, I would highly suggest giving this pub a try.

Ted Cruz is a "Lightening Rod" Candidate

Ted Cruz, from Texas. First GOP Presidential Candidate

 Ted Cruz is a Senator from Texas, and he has recently announced that he will be running for President of the United States of America in 2016. Right now there are a lot of Democrats losing their minds over this, not because they believe he can win, but because they see that his candidacy is nothing more than a lightening rod meant to draw the ire of conservative, and liberal voters a like, toward another candidate. That candidate has not yet been decided of course and the GOP has yet to hint who their next man or woman will be, which is all a part of the strategy. All they need to worry about right now is how they are going to draw as much negative attention to this man as possible, then when the hate reaches it's peak they'll finally introduce their next guy. Someone who seems much more sensible then this Cruz character and his crazy Dr. Seuss antics. A guy who all Republicans can get behind and support, because by comparison he seems like a conservative hero like Reagan or Bush, even though this man's policies are just as insane they'll say, “well, at least he isn't Cruz. That guy is just weird.” 

Some have made the joke, “Ted Cruz is my man because he's the only man.” Well, those folks are right, he is the only man, until the GOP comes out with their trump card (not Donald Trump, of course), which will be some ultra conservative wolf in the disguise of a so-called moderate conservative. Someone who will seem less insane by proxy, that Republicans can rally behind to disguise their own insanity. And that's what a lightening rod candidate is.

In order for the strategy to work you need to find someone that the general public despises. Sure, they may be big shots in their own home districts, but the rest of the world scratches their heads and wonders what wacky thing they will propose or do next. They are the lightening rod candidates, the guys and gals who stands out and takes the hate vote, the slings and arrows. Their main function is to efficiently distract the public with nonsensical bells and whistles to help his or her party steal the election. 

A good example of this is when Hunter S. Thompson ran for Sheriff in Aspen, Colorado. He never really wanted to run in the first place, rather he had a friend who was running for a separate public office, and it didn't seem like anyone liked him. So in order to help his friend get elected Hunter threw his hat into the ring and ran for Sheriff in order to draw away the hate that his friend was getting and having them focus it all on him. He made outrageous promises like tearing up the streets and replacing them with grass, making drugs legal, and even eating drugs while on the job in the Sheriff's office. He was hoping that he would scare enough people into thinking that he was a lunatic, and that his friend was much more sane and likable by comparison. 

Hunter Thompson, while running for Sheriff in Aspen, Colorado

Another good example of a lightening rod candidate was Sarah Palin, back when she ran in 2008. Just like Hunter all she had to do was be her normal, mentally deranged self in order to attract the hate vote and distract from the other guys, who are in most cases really bad guys who walk on that razor thin edge of legitimacy and criminality. Unfortunately, just like Hunter's lightening rod campaign gained momentum Palin's did as well to some degree. They were both successful in capturing the hearts of those truly twisted individuals who either really agreed with their absurdities, or were only drawn in because they believe that perhaps the candidates eccentric personalities meant they actually had good ideas. 

Palin's popularity in the GOP inexplicably exploded back in 2008, just like Hunter's did in his 1970 bid for Sheriff. She was brash and she didn't care who she offended, and at the time that's who Republicans were lusting for. The gun toting mama from the harsh tundras of Alaska who shot first and asked questions later. She would take helicopter rides across her home state to shoot bears and wolves, which gave conservatives across the nation a massive hard-on as they could now imagine her hanging out of an open helicopter's fuselage wearing tight camouflage leather pants and black tank-top and hat holding an M-4 Carbine while flying over Arab villages and shooting at innocent people. She would become their new poster child because of this, and her face will be plastered on walls outside of American military bases all across the world with the caption, “You gotta lead'em!”

Fake picture of Sarah Palin used to illustrate my point

It was this rabid image of pseudo-patriotism and masochism that made Palin so popular that she seemed the perfect candidate to join John McCain at his side by being his Vice President. It seemed like the perfect Rambo loving, Republican ticket. You had your Presidential nominee who was a tough as nails Vietnam pilot and prison of war, and your Vice Presidential nominee who was a gun loving mother of five who lived in the boonies, and killed animals for sport from the safety of luxurious helicopters. 

Unfortunately for the Republicans they forgot that a lightening rod candidate, no matter how popular they are with that insane fringe of American society, cannot win any election. Sure, they had a lot of momentum that gathered behind them with this image, but she also brought a lot of hate to McCain's campaign and thus hurt his chances in the long run. Maybe the Republicans thought if they paired their golden boy with their lightening rod it would some how produce a canceling-out effect, and the people's hate for Palin will make them want to vote for McCain anyway because of how much saner he seemed by comparison. But in reality getting close to Palin in that regard made him seem just as crazy as her, if not even crazier. 

But the GOP was blind to this at the time. They became rock stars over night with their battle hardened war hero, and the women who they believed could be the sexy surrogate mother of America. The immense amount of support that flooded in from all sides so quickly made them all drunk with assurance. They seriously believed they could take the election with this, but they were wrong, and Barack Obama became the man of the nation. The GOP couldn't see where they went wrong, and it was such a blow to the ego that they just wanted to crawl back into bed, drink some Nyquil, and try to forget about this entire disaster. 

Now the Republicans have this man, Ted Cruz, from Texas. The perfect lightening rod candidate. He looks like some mad scientific experiment to combine the genes of Desi Arnaz and Ron Paul in order to deter decent god fearing Republicans away from the idea of scientific genetic manipulation, and Ted Cruz. In order to hide this injustice against humanity he was hidden under the capitol after his test-tube emergence, and left to feed off the scraps left behind by his half-brother, Rand, until he became too big and could longer fit in the cramped crawlspace just beneath the Senate floors. In order to allow him to fit in with the others they outfitted with a suit just like theirs, except that his was meant to hide the horrible deformities that he was afflicted with as the result of him being a genetic freak. They gave him a nice cushy job keeping a Texas Senator's chair warm until they could find a more suitable replacement. His main function is to make liberals heads explode and conservatives to cringe at the thought of their party even being represented by this monster, who has apparently taught himself how to read Dr. Seuss. 

Cruz will say all the insane things he can, instigating both sides of the political spectrum, while the GOP looks for their next sociopath and grooms him to be the next Republican Presidential golden boy. And when that next sociopath comes conservatives will be able to let out a long sigh of relief and will all together join in reciting everyone the litany, “At least he isn't Ted Cruz.”

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 Hash? Why Yes.

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